RYB 849 How To UNLOCK Your SECRET Identity To Grow Your Business and LIFE with Todd Herman

Today I have Todd Herman on the show, and I am thrilled he’s here! He wrote a book called “The Alter Ego Affect.” that I really enjoyed reading. In fact, he actually reads the book himself on the audiobook, which I love because it makes it more real. So, if you get a chance, you should definitely listen to it. Now let’s get right to it and learn a few things from Todd. 

Why Your Alter Ego Matters 

I started a peak performance training and coaching company back in 1997. This was after I finished playing college football. At the time, I was really young. My strength when I played sports was my mental game.

I learned all about mindset when I was in high school and learned how to get to a zone state to help with my anger issues.

Now I coach athletics and Olympians and help them learn to control their mental state, especially when they’re on the field or getting ready to compete.

When I started working with top quality athletes, they would say they had a different identity they would step into when they stepped onto the field. Working in many different sports, I took things I learned from each to help other athletes. I realized alter egos was a theme. It didn't matter who I talked to. There is a process to it.

With sports, there is a theme and an end goal. With business, there are so many different ways to go about achieving your goals that it causes friction for entrepreneurs.

There are so many hats that you’ll wear, and all those things will create friction because you’re not always good at everything. Being able to shift our identity is a huge fast track to get through the start-up stage.  

How To Get Unstuck

There is a difference between people who start a franchise and someone who starts their own, especially between people who start a franchise and start their own business from scratch.

People are much likely to succeed if they start a franchise than those who start their own business. Because the entrepreneur is building the product and business at the same time, and it’s not easy to do it all. 

A meta-model says when we have a model that we’re working inside or a vision we have. It helps achieve something quicker. 

Use someone that you would like to be showing up as to be your model. It’ll help give you fire and drive to move forward and get through difficult things. Create a model within your own mind to help you show up. The power of an alter-ego is taking a preexisting idea and showing up to represent that. It’s not you being fake.

There is no you because there are multiple versions of you. We play many roles in life. When you’re an entrepreneur, there are many different versions of you as you grow a business. Ask yourself who you’ve met or connected with that is amazing like that and show up just like they do. 

So many people identify their skills as themselves, and that’s just not true. An alter-ego allows you to show up as different types of people for different aspects of your life. 

How To Take Action and Embrace Your Alter-Ego

  • I don’t care about your beliefs; they aren’t your truths. I want you to commit to 30 days. Do the thing you’re struggling with every day. Do it in private, so you can practice and get better at whatever it is. When you do it again and again, you’re going to improve as you go. 
  • The lowest barrier that I can get you to start with will help you get momentum. Momentum creates confidence, and confidence creates certainty. If you’re just starting out, just commit to taking action and practice.
  • Have a model in mind of people that are really good at the thing you’re practicing. It’ll help you play around with different sides of your personality so you can find a grove. 
  • Mental toughness is your ability to be flexible and adaptable, no matter your circumstances. You’ll just need to find a strategy to get there when things don’t go the way you’ve planned. 
  • Expectations can be healthy. Always keep in mind that if there is a bad in something, there is also good. My expectation is to the process, and not the outcome. I expect myself to show up and believe I’ll do my best. They are all things that I can control.

Note From Scott: Nowadays, it’s so easy to compare people, especially on social media. It can be hard to see other people who are successful and wonder how you’ll ever get there. Many people will show up on video or a blog post in fear of judgment or not good enough. What advice do you have someone who might be struggling with this?

Avoid The Path of Least Resistance 

Welcome to the club. It’s a heavy load to worry about what people are going to think about you. The reason you want to do something is that you like it. However, when you start, you’ll realize the differences of great work. Also, what you’ve done is discouraging. This is part of the process. 

The difficult parts of the process are there to help separate people who have the true desire to go after it from those who don’t. 

The beautiful part about it is if you’re only looking for the easy path in life, you’ll find resistance. The value is in the journey and the valley of difficulty. 

Human beings don't care about my story. Don’t worry about what other people think. If your intention is pure and you’re just working to improve, that is all that matters. People who just keep doing, do the reps, and move forward will be hard to beat. The discipline will win the day. You have to keep going even if you don’t see the results right away.

Because the brain is 70% visual cortex, it needs a model or framework. Shove all your content through that framework. I want you to learn how to paint by numbers first, so put in the reps so you can break the frame later because you have the skills to do it. 

Always focus on one target market and stay focused on it. Do not get sidetracked. Put a box around it to help keep you focused. 

A rule of thumb is to start where you are. The moment you name who your target market is, other people will come. You might think that naming who you work with will eliminate everyone else. Instead, it’ll invite other people who aren’t in your target group. This happens because human beings don’t like it when they are excluded.  

Boxes will help you stay focused, so don’t get overwhelmed. You need to learn to paint your boarder and stay within your sandbox. Think about what the number one skill is that it will help make the largest improvements in the outcomes that are important to you. It’ll help keep you on track to achieve something. 

It’s important to focus on doing what you love. Yes, you do need to make money, but you’ll get the best results if you look at it about playing and learning and building up your skillset. You’ll learn faster because playfulness is key to help you. 

Final Note From Scott

I wasn’t kidding when I said that Todd is an awesome guy. I consider him a good friend and loved having him on the show. He is someone worth having in your diet of consumption. He will help impact you in the right way, so go grab his book, “The Alter Ego Affect.” Now, take some time to think about what you’ve learned today and how you can apply it to your own life. Thanks for hanging out with us today! 

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“Remember, I'm here for you, I believe in you, and I'm rooting for you! Now it's time for you to take action and go rock your brand”! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFZ7lUpCXcM

Take-Aways From Today’s Episode 

  1. Why Alter Egos Matter (10:01)
  2. How To Get Unstuck (17:26)
  3. How To Take Action and Embrace Your Alter-Ego (28:57)
  4. Avoid The Path of Least Resistance (35:40)

Quotes:

  • “Momentum creates confidence, and confidence creates certainty”. 
  • “I want you to learn how to paint by numbers first to put in the reps so you can break the frame later because you have the skills to do it”. 

00:00 If there's a bad to something, there has to be a good cause the world lives in polarities. So expectation of the self, I expect myself to give my best. So I will always want to, my expectation is always geared towards process, not outcome. I expect myself to show up in a certain way. I expect myself to, um, you know, deliver my best or I expect myself to be kind to other people. Those are all things that I can control. It's the expectations on uncontrollables that lead people astray.

00:40 Hey, Hey, Hey, what's up everyone. Welcome to the rock, your brand podcast. I'm your host, Scott. Bowker a serial entrepreneur on a mission to help you.

00:49 This show is designed to teach you to inspire you, to motivate you, to take massive action and build a future proof business. So whether you're just starting out or taking your existing business to the next level, this is your home. Now, if you're ready, I'm ready. Let's rock your brand.

01:11 Yo, what's up guys. Welcome back to another episode and I have a featured guest that I am fired up today to share with you. His name is Todd Herman. Now I met Todd in Puerto Rico last year and it was awesome. Now let me just give you a little backstory on Todd and you'll hear more of his story once we get into his interview. But Todd had recently wrote a book called the alter ego effect and really what it is, it's how to unlock your inner self or your identity that is there, but you might not be using. It's kind of like if someone steps into the ring of a boxing match or in the field of play and they're a different person because they step into this character, they step into this warrior and he goes into how we all have this type of personality or this identity or how we can discover it and how we can leverage it.

02:14 Now he's worked with Olympic athletes, pro athletes, all different types of people that are trying to achieve peak performance. And he's also worked with a lot of high level businesses. So that's why I wanted to get him on here. He's got a great story. Number one, he's been at it over 20 years and he just really understands this up here. And that is your mind and how it works and how to get the most out of yourself and how to really bust down any barriers to get the most performance out of you. And we think about performance, like how do we run faster? How do we jump higher? How do we really achieve more from our life? And we really do get deep into those discussions. So I really, really encourage you to listen to this entire interview and start taking notes. Now I will say there is a, you know, maybe a couple of cuss words in here, but I left those in here because I do believe that they are there for a reason.

03:17 And Todd is one that, you know, he's just going to call it as it is. He is not going to sugar coat things. He's going to call you out on something. If he feels like you're just, you know, you're just BS in yourself. So I just wanted this to be raw and real. So just a little, a little disclaimer there. So be prepared for that. It's not, it's not crazy. It's not too much, but I think leaving it in there, just also let you see that we really need to be sometimes woken up and we need to just have someone be real and raw. And really again, just had a great time hanging out with Todd and I wanted to bring him to you and have this conversation with him about how do we get more out of our life? How do we discover our inner self more or our identity that's there?

04:09 How do we step into it? So again, this is episode eight 49. I encourage you to grab the show notes for this episode to brand creators.com forward slash eight 49. I'm gonna stop talking so you can enjoy this interview with Todd Herman. Well, Hey Todd, welcome to the podcast. Finally get to have you come on the podcast and we're not climbing Palm trees in Puerto Rico together. No, we're not. It's good to be here. Thanks man. Thanks for coming on a, you know, it's a crazy time that we're in right now and I know that you actually had

04:45 The, the Corona virus I did, right.

04:48 Can you speak to that real quick before we even dig into the interview? I want people to understand like where you were and how you, you know, how this whole thing affected you and your family and

04:56 Everything. I am. Um, I've been an overachiever since birth. So I was actually one of the first people I live in New York city. And so I was one of the first people in the New York area to, to get the virus before all the lockdown stuff had been happened. So we were quarantined all of March and my experience was, uh, I started with a really horrible flu with it. Um, I actually lost 19 pounds in two days. That's what I thought they called it. COVID-19 19 paths. You got it. So if you want a fast weight loss program, it's a pretty good one. And uh, and then after that it's settled into my lungs and then it took me about, and I was, but I was still operational after the first two days I was, I was out, I was actually going in and out of the hospital, but, um, then when it settled my lungs, it was, you know, shortness of breath, fatigue issues and stuff like that.

05:42 But I was still operational. I was still working and things. Um, and I was saying to you, before we got on that, even at the beginning of March, if you Googled Corona virus or COVID-19 patient, I was one of the top search terms in the news, um, of Google because, um, business insider Yahoo, a bunch of these different outlets picked up on a story of me just talking about my experience. But at the time all the narratives were about people dying is fear, fear, fear, fear, fear. And I wanted to get one out there that said, Hey, like, yeah, [inaudible] bad. It's not an illness that you want to necessarily get. And it's definitely dangerous people with like preexisting conditions, but you know, I'm operational, I'm fine. I'm working and stuff, but it's cycled through my family. My kids got it. My wife got it. Uh, my kids were over it in about a day, day and a half and they were fine. My wife was over in about five, six days longterm effects of it though. Um, it's done about 50% damage on my lungs. So, uh, when I was talking to my doctor about a week and a half ago, he said, it looks like you've got the lungs of someone who's been smoking for 25 to 30 years. So it'll take me, it'll take me a while to basically get back the, um, the lungs into good condition. But yeah, I mean, I was definitely at the front end of all this stuff.

06:51 Wow. And so I remember you saying that on that video, cause I watched it is you were saying that your breath, I think you had did something with like your daughter, my daughter. Yeah. And then, and you were holding it for like over a minute, your breath normally.

07:07 Yeah. So, um, I mean I work in sports and stuff like that and I'm always do little competitions with my little kids, but yeah, I can hold my breath for about a minute and 45 seconds. And uh, and so I was doing a competition with my daughter and just ironically, I'd done it, but a week before I got the virus and uh, and then when I had the virus, the most, I could even come close to holding my breath was 10 seconds. That's insane. So yeah.

07:30 So like having someone with a compromised immune system or just even like just respiratory, like they're going to be affected and that's what they were,

07:39 They were saying. So you, you, yeah. You say that that's true. Right? Definitely, definitely true. And I mean, if there's one thing I'd give someone as a takeaway world health organization has pulled their, um, uh, you know, if it came out that Advil was something or ibuprofen, wasn't something that you should be taking. And then, you know, two days later who said, Oh, that's not true. Well, I took it because I'm actually also going through an Achilles rupture. I, I, that's how I got the, uh, um, virus was, I went in for a ruptured, my Achilles doing American Ninja warrior training with my daughters. And when I went in at the end of February to get the, my Achilles surgery, that's when I got the virus. And so I got the virus and I was overcoming the surgery. So I was taking some ibuprofen one night, really early in March before all the warnings even came out. And that night that's when my lungs just flared up. I felt like I was suffocating. So definitely if you get on this thing, I'm telling you right now, do not take it. You got it. That's the plague right there is taking ibuprofen or Advil with when you've got the virus.

08:39 Wow. That's insane. Wow. What, what is set up here for the podcast? Like Todd has been through it all and here he is to help us with our, uh, with our alter ego. So I did want to mention, I I'm holding your book right here. And if you guys are listening to the podcast, you see me, but I'm holding Todd's book, the alter ego effect and the power of secret identities to transform your life. Awesome book. And before I even get to the end and say, you should go grab it, you should go grab it. It's an awesome book, a really, really good. I actually have it on the audio book as well. And I know that you actually read through that as well, which I love when authors do that. I don't really like listening to someone else, narrate it, um, and read through it.

09:20 Um, so I really, uh, I really enjoyed it. So that's what I do want to dig into a little bit today because I think, and I think you would agree, right? You're all about performance. You're all about people getting the most. And I kind of want to take people back that how this has kind of evolved into what it is today. And then I want to give people some exercises. I know that you're really good at identifying these things for people to get themselves out of their own way to actually get results in their own life, whether that's in business, whether that's outside of life or outside of business in their own life, I want to dig into that stuff. So

09:52 Take us back in time a little bit, you know,

09:55 Again how this whole thing started, but I mean, just take us back as far as you need to, or you want to, to kind of get us caught up.

10:01 Yeah. Um, so I, I started a peak performance training and coaching company back in 1997, right after I got done playing college football, um, fell into it accidentally. I was like 21 ish. And was my strength when I played sports, I was a nationally ranked badminton player as well. You know, we've recruited for different football scholarships as a pretty good athlete. Um, despite my size, I mean, I was six feet tall, but I was never, you know, physical specimen by any stretch of the imagination, but maybe being the third boy, but two older brothers, I was, um, at my mental game was pretty strong and they could beat me up physically, but I was Al I threw what I call mental grenades at them, um, with trash talk. So, um, so like my mental game was good, but I had actually researched it a ton when I was in my teens.

10:50 Um, and that was because one of my, one of my coaches pulled me aside and was braided me after I got kicked out of a volleyball tournament for fighting. Um, I grabbed the guy through the net and, uh, and almost knocked him. Well, I knocked him on the ground, give him, give him two shots because he kept on trying to kick me out of the net in my groin when we'd go for spikes. And I had, I'd basically had enough. So I had some anger issues, uh, early on in my teens, but he gave me a book to read on leadership. And the book mentioned the mind and I fell down this rabbit hole of learning more about mindset. And it, I use it as a method to help me get into the zone and flow state, which everyone talks about getting into zone and flow.

11:28 But there's actually a biological process that if you walk through it, um, there's a pretty popular book out right now, um, regarding flow and it's very research heavy and it's not practical. Um, it's sort of funny, like I'm, I'm, I'm actually someone who rails against over researching because researchers are people who stand on the sidelines. They're not actually on the field with people practically seeing. So I've been coaching athletes, Olympians pro athletes for 22 years now, all on the mental game, peak performance strategies. And, um, and I've got close to almost 18,000 hours of working with people, one on one, plus the additional team training workshops. But one of the, getting to your story about getting to your point about alter egos, and I'll talk to people about why alter egos are an amazing tool to put inside your toolkit. But, um, when I started working with better and better quality athletes, this sort of consistent theme kept on coming out in our conversations that they would say things like, Oh, I've got this other identity that I stepped into when I'm on the court or the field, or when I'm going down the slopes.

12:30 Um, because I worked in over 76 different sports. So the great thing about working in so many sports is you're not siloed into one particular sport where everyone is always doing the same things. That's where you typically don't get very much innovation from people who are just operating in one domain. You get innovation by cross pollination. And so I was able to take different things out of each different sport and share them with, um, the different athletes. But one consistent theme was this idea of having a separate identity, this performance identity, and alter ego persona that people would step into out on the court, the field. And for me, it was like, Oh, I did the exact same thing when I played, when I played football. And, uh, his name was Dranamo when I went on the field. That was my alter Rigo was Toronto, who was a composite of seven different characters, uh, Ronnie Lott, who is a hall of fame, defensive player, Walter Peyton, the great running back from the Chicago bears, who was my personal hero and then five native American and warriors, um, and brought them all together into this like kind of transformer ask type, super alter ego for myself.

13:36 When I started to like, you know, sort of follow the dotted lines that everyone was kept on sharing with me, I was like, wait a second. This is actually a theme. And, you know, while it's cool that they're doing it and I did it, there's actually like something that's there that people need to know about that. There's a process for this that you use and the elite are using it. And the people that are struggling are not using it. And the reason that people struggle when they are performing. And this goes to, like, we were talking earlier about entrepreneurship, I've gotten more Olympic and pro athlete clients that are now retired, that would say they would gladly, that are now entrepreneurs. That sport was way easier for them than entrepreneurship is sport has borders, there's rules to it. There's a way to play the game.

14:16 There's a definable outcome that you're doing get ball in hoop, shoot puck in net. Um, and while we kind of have that in business, of course, get, get sales, get leads, get audience, whatever. It's just so many ways to go about doing that. And it's the number of ways of going about achieving things that it causes so much friction for the entrepreneur. Um, and, and so they've said, he's like, I got to go back to playing sport. It's just, it's, it's more of a known thing than, than entrepreneurship. And so the mental game is so big and because we were so many hats as entrepreneur, there's the sales hat we have to, we make one, we're all aware that we're starting out. There's the marketing hat, which is, you know, different mindsets there, there's the operations hat. Like how do we, you know, maintain things that are lean and how do we, you know, stay profitable and, and stuff.

15:05 There's the financial hat that we need to wear on, you know, budgeting things. And then there's the delivery hat, whether it's the product creation or whatever, and all those things create friction because you're typically going to be good at one or two of them where you have a preference towards one or two of them, but you have to do all of them. And then you avoid things and it takes you so much longer to push that rock up to the next milestone. So being able to shift your identity is a huge, fast track to be able to get through the initial inertia of startup

15:32 For people. Yeah. Yeah. No, that makes a lot of sense. And I think the way that you frame that to where in a game, you're right. There's, there's just a couple of things that you need to understand, right? I mean, there's rules, right. And there's all of these, you know, rule books and stuff, but it's still, it's, it's there, right? It's, you're going to have someone that there that's going to be officiating. It there's someone that's, you know, you have to follow, but yet there's there's the, the goal of the game is to get the ball in the hoop or hit the ball in the outfield, like whatever. Right. But in business, it's, you're right. It's all over the place. We can do a hundred different thousand different things. Like people ask me all the time. What's the best way to start on online. Well, there's hundred different ways I could share with you.

16:10 It's which one are you going to be most happiest in? And which one are you going to Excel in? Um, where are your strengths? So let's, let's kind of speak to that because that's who we are speaking with with my audiences is people that are either, they're either starting their business. You know, maybe now with what the world has, has really shown us and that what we have to do now, right? Some people are, are looking at this as a, as a way to, I hope that they are anyway as a way to reset their life, because maybe they've been putting off something I'm in that job. And I'm just going to, I'll do that one day. And now they've been faced with, well, I have to do something. Cause my company downsize, or this business model just wasn't the right model. It's a brick and mortar.

16:47 I don't want it to be brick and mortar anymore. And so we we've now had this second chance if you will, that those people might want to do it, but they don't believe they can because maybe they've never done it or they're not good enough. They're good at this, but they're not good at this or someone that has a business online, but they're just like, you know what I want to, I want to level up and I'm stuck. So what do we, what do we do as an entrepreneur? I mean, I know myself, I feel this at times like overwhelmed, you know, and you have all these different things. What is, I guess, what is the best advice that you could give someone that is feeling stuck or, you know, at the place where they just don't know if they're going to be able to make this thing work for them and it's just easier to go get a job.

17:26 Sure. So, Mmm. There's an interesting statistic on the difference between franchise owners. So people who start out in entrepreneurship as a franchisee of something and people who just start out in business with their own idea or their own product, the success rate on a franchisee in the world of entrepreneurship is like eight times that of someone who just starts out on their own. Okay. Um, and when you think about why, and I'm not, by the way, this is my point, isn't about pushing people into franchises. There's actually a, a secondary point to this. Is that the hardest part about starting any business? And again, I've started a bunch of them. Most of them are going to be operating in the coaching and training space, something around intellectual property, but I've scaled businesses and sold domain and stuff. But the hardest part about it is you're building the product at the same time.

18:21 You're building the marketing for the audience at the same time. And they're, and they're both, they both take so much effort to do. That's why the franchisee is more successful because the product is already built for him. All he has to do is bring the butts inside of his, you know, fast food restaurant or the, whatever the thing is that he went and franchised. Okay. So it's, it's simpler. And then it becomes a great training ground for you to understand the power of systems. And so that if you do, which typically happens, most franchisees go and start another business, but they just got a phenomenal university training and how a really systemized business should be operating based on the heavy lifting and work of someone or something else that gave them the operation. Right. Right. So like I said, this isn't about pushing you into franchisee, but there's a, there is a Metta, the idea, there's a meta model that sits on top of that.

19:16 And that is that, um, when we have a model to sort of, um, that it's, uh, it's a, it's a model that we're working inside of, or a model or a vision in our own mind. It helps us to achieve something so much more quickly. And my point is getting back to alter ego, the power of an alter ego. And again, th the actual term alter ego was first voiced by Cicero, who is the great Roman statesman and philosopher ranked as one of the greatest Roman statesman philosophers of all time. And in a letter to a friend in 44 BC, just a couple of years before he passed away, or really it was murdered. Um, he said the alter ego is the other eye or trusted friend within. And he was the first person to actually use the term alter ego. Oh, wow. And, and what an alter ego really is, is it's a model of someone and something else that you would like to be showing up as, because you think that if you came out in that way, it's going to help you win on that field of play.

20:14 So Kobe Bryant used the black Mamba. All right, could we, but I never came into the NBA with the black moment. I got to know Coby and really legitimately I was out in California meeting with Kobe. Um, our meeting was scheduled for two days actually after his plane crashed, uh, or the helicopter crashed because he wanted to bring in the alter ego training into the Mambo Academy out in California. And, um, uh, and so, but for Kobe, he didn't come into the NBA with the black Mamba. He employed the black Mamba. When he was going through his sexual assault trial in Colorado, he felt like he was his edge. He was losing his identity. Um, and so he felt like he was going to be losing that, you know, that fire and hunger in sort of, um, viciousness that he had on the court. And it wasn't until he was watching the movie kill bill, where you saw the black mambas scene.

21:03 When he was like, when he saw the black mama come on the scene, he was like, wait a second. That's what I need to take out there. And that became his source code or inspiration for how he wanted to show up. It became the model in his own mind for how you want it to show up. So getting back to my point about franchisees. So when you're a franchisee, you're using a model to show up in business, that's already got a container wrapped around it. So when you employ the idea of an alter ego, you're actually taking a preexisting idea and you're showing up to represent that. And that's not you being fake. And all the people who get trapped in this world of psychology, people that stay stuck in a world, they're also fricking concerned about authenticity. No one actually knows what that term actually means.

21:43 They, they they're concerned about the authentic self or whatever. There is no authentic self. There is no you, I'm going to, I'm going to say that again. Cause I want, I want this to really rattle around in people's heads and cause a lot of issues for you. There is no, you, we use these words in our vocabulary as if it's true. There is no you, because there's multiple use Scott, there's the, you, that's here as the interested sort of, you know, um, interviewer trying to get the best out of someone so that you can put out a good product in front of your people. Then there's the you that shows up for kids, your kids, right? There's the dad. Yup. Then there's the husband, all of those are very different versions of you. At least I would hope that the husband version of you in the bedroom is different than the husband.

22:28 Right? Right. And, and that's that's um, uh, so we play many roles in life. And when you start to really look at what are the roles that I play and even in entrepreneurship, that's what makes it so hard. You're not just an entrepreneur. You're not just a business owner. There's actually many sub roles inside that world. There's the sales version of you, especially when you're a solo person, there's a sale. There's the marketing version of you. There could be the chief PR publicity guy who goes out on social media and keeps interest or grabs audience. There's the product guy, there's the researcher or there's all these roles. And when you start thinking about customers, like who would be the best version of me to show up in that? And that's one way to look at it instead, I would say, who can I think of, or who have I met or who do I resonate with?

23:12 But it's already amazing at that. And I'm going to show up as that. Mm. Because what that actually is, is not, that's not me being a fake version of me, what that is, is saying, I love less. So like when I do my cause I've done television interviews on good morning America today show when I show up and do daytime television or any sort of interviews, the type of person that I want to show up most as, um, with their traits and qualities that they bring to their interviews is Hugh Jackman or Ryan Reynolds. Mm. There super engaging. They're gregarious. They're like, um, they're just super engaging people. Big on camera. Yeah. Well, all those qualities live within me. But when I show up every single day as a coach or a trainer to these, you know, elite people, I'm flexing the muscle every single day of being a challenger because I'm coming up against big personalities, big egos.

24:03 And I need to hammer through those things because I need in order for me to do my work, well, I need high levels of trust with them. And everyone else is a yes man, around them. Nobody calls them out on stuff. Well, that's what I do for a living. But just because I flex that muscle that says, that's not me. That's just the skill that I'm developing. So, so many people have identified their skills as being them. And that's not true. There's so many different sides of you, just that we all get into this habit of showing up as a certain version of us that we think that that's us. So the alter ego is a way for all of us to be more playful and pull out different sides of ourselves using something that's already a known quantity. I'm going to show up more like Superman wood or Hugh Jackman or Oprah Winfrey, or insert the name of anyone, anything, or any combination of things that you think is going to help you win on that field of play.

24:56 Those are some really great points. And I, I love it. How you, you kind of bring in the franchise thing. Cause that does, that makes me see that as almost like it does have rules, it does have a container, like you said, and all you need to do is operate within that and you should be successful, right. Your business should do. Okay. Because the model has been proven in other areas, you do have support from the franchise, uh, the franchisor, I guess the person that's giving you that the company to help you with marketing and help you with that stuff that they have already kind of built out and tested. When you go out there on your own, it's a little bit different, but why not model something like you're saying, or find people that are in your, like a good marketer, right? You don't want to be a sleazy marketer.

25:35 You want to be a good marketer. So you're gonna find someone that's a good marketer that you like, how they operate. And you're gonna kind of model that. Yeah. And kind of show up as, as that, is that what I'm hearing. Yep. A hundred percent, a hundred percent. Like, you know, if you'd like the way that Seth Goden markets, then, you know, if I'm sitting down, I'm going to try to find a way to channel Seth Goden as much as I possibly can. And in the book I walked through like all the different ways that you can make that happen that are Mmm. Already innate to how your brain already operates. Like, that's my biggest problem with like the self health community is most of these people are not practitioners. Like I'm a practitioner. I get paid by people to help them perform. If I don't help people perform, I don't get paid.

26:18 Now I've got lucky, a big scaled up training company and stuff. And we license our material around the world to like other sports organizations or corporate entities and stuff like that. But at the end of day, my first love is still working with people. One on one. It's just that nowadays in order to work with me, one on one for most people, it's out of their cost reach. So we have group programs and stuff that people can come inside of. But at the end of the day, like I love having the, um, the white hot light of performance shined upon me and my stuff, because it's practical. It's built it to help you actually win, not this pie crap that you hear inside of a lot of, you know, personal development stuff. That's out there that isn't proven. It's not proven. You know, they try to like rubber stamp something and say, affirmations, everyone should use affirmations while there's a lot of context around that.

27:03 If you're someone who's, I'm trying to affirm to yourself that you're great at sales, when you're not great at sales, you don't actually have the skills yet. Here's, what's going to happen. Statistically proven by the university of Waterloo and the Stanford neuroscience research lab, you will go into a depression or you'll go into a depressed state. Hmm. So affirmations, aren't all cracked up to be, right. However, if you're someone who already feels like you're a good podcaster and you tell yourself, I am, I am a great podcast or whatever affirmation affirmation you're going to say, it'll actually increase your confidence. So context matters in life. Nuance matters. Now the people who want to, you know, just write books and, you know, save flowery things just because there, again, it's cotton candy. It's lollipops. If you try to satiate your appetite, but only, you know, consuming sugary things, you're going to find yourself pretty fat and bloated.

27:53 And I think that's where we got is in the world of self help, personal help. We've got a lot of fat bloated brains, meaning people who have consumed a lot of sugary self help stuff and they wonder why they they're lethargic and they can't make it through, um, towards their goals. They're unfocused. Well that's cause you're carrying a heavy weight of just crap. Yeah. So how do we, okay. So, and that all makes sense. So how do we actually implement it? How do we take action on some of these things to start down that road? Cause I can hear people now, uh, you know, saying, well, that's great, you know, Todd, but, um, I'm not competent on video and I know I should get on video and I want to get on video, but I just I'm self conscious. Um, I don't feel like I am an expert yet.

28:33 I'm going to wait until I have more knowledge before I actually show up as that person. I yeah. What would you say that we could do? Um, or what would be the next move? If I was to say that to you and you're coaching me and I'm like, Hey, listen, I, I want to go here. I know I can help people here, but I have these either limiting beliefs or I have these obstacles that I think I need to do before I get there before I actually show up. Great. First thing I do is I'd say, fuck your limiting beliefs. Don't care about that. Okay. No, I don't. I don't care about finding out about your beliefs because your beliefs are just not, it's not truth, it's your truth because you're acting through them. But my job isn't to go and get entangled into the spidery webs of beliefs.

29:15 That's just cause who knows where it's connected to. And I get it. Some of us have come from some very, very horrible backgrounds. We've got some big things that happened to us as kids. Some people didn't come from horrible backgrounds, but they still have things that get in their way. Sure, sure. Okay, great. I'm not a therapist. I'm not here. I'm here to help you perform. So here's what I would say. I want you to commit to 30 days, 30 days, that's it. I want you to record a video every single day, do not publish it. I want you to pretend that you're shooting. So shoot a video, but you're just going to put that inside of your store, storehouse. Why? Because at the end of the day, the people with the most skills that are valuable when not to be with the most skills, cause they're a lot of people, who've got a lot of skills, but in the marketplace of business, they're not valuable.

29:58 Mm. And so practice them because that's what a pro would do. You know, you know, that's like saying, but I'm not great on video. Why would you expect yourself to be great on video right off the bat? It's your expectations of greatness that are causing you a ton of consternation. What you IX, you honestly expect that much of yourself. You honestly expect that you're going to pick the perfect drop shipping product before you get started on something. Right. Right, right. Right. So like what's the, what's the lowest barrier to entry that I can get you to Mmm. Start with, that's going to create what's I care about, I care about starting with momentum. How can I create momentum with someone? Because everyone else is concerned about jumping to confidence, but I'm not confident on video. Whoa. Of course. You're not confident on video. You're not supposed to be confident in video yet because momentum creates confidence.

30:52 Yeah. You talk to any athlete. Once you feel like your team has got the momentum, boy, what does that change? It changes how they show up. That's the confidence side of things. Okay. And then confidence creates, which is the ultimate thing, which is what I'm trying to get everybody to that I work with certainty because certainty is at a DNA level thing that is a known. I know that I'm good on video, like me personally, this isn't because I know I'm good on video. I have done that lessons of hours of video. I'm not saying it, you know about bragging it's because I've done the work and it's okay to say that. I used to one of the most commented on bullet points I had on my website for the longest time, until we just did a, um, uh, a change last year was, um, when bullet point said, um, I am world-class at performance coaching and I will not apologize for it.

31:45 And so I had more people, CEOs, people who starting out, I'll say to me like I'm so it's so refreshing to hear someone say that they're really good at something I'm like, yeah. I didn't say I'm phenomenal at everything in the life. When I said the hours, I mean, I've just done the work. And so I am, I am world-class at that thing. Um, and so for you, if you're just starting out, I'm terrible on video, then commit to, you don't want me to do 30 days. If you did two weeks of yourself on video, and then you watch it yourself and what did you like? What didn't you like? But then you also had beside you a model of three different people that also shoot videos. And you said, you know what, I'm going to shoot a video like Scott does [inaudible] or I'm going to shoot a video, like insert the name of someone else.

32:32 And now that gets you to play around at different sides of your personality. And you're going to start to find like, if you did it for two weeks straight, you're going to some comfort. You gonna find a groove. That's there again, it's the expectation of stuff that is probably going to cause more consternation for people than, than anything else. Yeah. I think the other thing is you even look at the current 20, 20, right. Everyone expected 2020 to go a certain way then Corona bars, right? Yep. Yeah. And it's a sign of mental weakness is what it is when you get so thrown off track emotionally, mentally, intellectually, physically, um, by circumstances outside of yourself because mental toughness is true definition is your ability to be flexible and adaptable. Despite what you're getting a circumstances, despite what the world is giving you, you're being flexible and adaptable.

33:20 So you still stay focused on what your goal is. The outcome is that you want, but you better find a different strategy possibly of getting there. Right. Um, and I think that's what we're seeing right now. There's a lot of people who've, who've won in the last couple of months during this pandemic. And there's people who've just really lost. Um, and, and through no fault of their own, they, you know, they're just happened to be in an industry or a market or whatever that just imploded. I have some of my closest friends last year, one of them won the number one place to work at in Canada, his business imploded, because he was in a specific sector. That doesn't mean he's a terrible entrepreneur. So, um, expectation you're unshocking yourself. So expectation can also be healthy because just always keep in mind that if there's a bad to something, there has to be a good cause the world lives in polarities. So expectations of the self, I expect myself to give my best. So I will always want to, my expectation is always geared towards process, not outcome. I expect myself to show up in a certain way. I expect myself to, um, you know, deliver my best or I expect myself to be kind to other people. Those are all things that I can control. It's the expectations on uncontrollables that lead people astray.

34:44 I think the other problem with a lot of people is, uh, especially nowadays with social media, everything is like comparing themselves, right? Like, you know, they're, you know, someone else that they're looking at is so much further ahead not realizing that they shot the 10,000 hours worth of video, but then they're like, well, yeah, but then they're that much further ahead. So where's there a place for me or, you know, how am I going to be able to start because you know of this or, you know, they've got more of a network built up. Like we can come up with all of these different excuses or reasons why, but what would you say to that for someone that is because I think a lot of it is why they don't want to show up either on video or writing a blog post or whatever is, is looking, you know, not smart or, you know, not being the expert that they think they need to be and they're going to be compared or they're going to be judged. I think that's a big,

35:37 Yeah. What would you say to that? Mmm. I mean, welcome to the club. I mean, we can talk about other people, but I can talk, I can tell you that that was, that was the, that was the greatest thing that was always holding me back early on in my career was just the fear of concern and worry about what other people are going to think of me. And I mean, it's such a heavy load to carry that stuff around with you when you're just starting out. Yeah. It's that, I mean, it came from an expectation because, you know, IRA, IRA, glass, the great podcast and, um, content creator from this American life has this great quote on just the starting out in anything in a creative capacity because you have this, you know, maybe you want to start painting or you want to start out doing videos or you want to start out in anything that writing.

36:25 The reason you do is because you have a taste for it. You have a palette for it. You like something in the way that someone else is doing it. And then you get going and you realize that now you're confronted with the reality of executing that. And you take a look at your painting versus the stuff that you like, and you appreciate, and you go like, wow, like, look at the gap between those two. Or you look at your writing versus this writing that you appreciate. You're like, look at the difference between that. Or you look at your video that you just shot unless someone else is doing right now. And, and that's the thing that discourages people. And that's a part of the process and that's too. And that's really, I mean, I don't think there's an apology for it, but I don't think that there should be a major solution around it because it's the thing that's there to separate out the people who have the true desire to actually go after it.

37:06 Like, that's just a part of the process. You can't throw the, you can't throw the ring in Mount doom without, you know, walking through the fires of hell kind of thing. And the beautiful part about that is if you're someone who's only looking for the easy path in life, you're going to find so much resistance towards it because you fundamentally know that if you achieved the thing and it was easy, there's very little value to you because the value is in the journey and all the lessons that you learn along the way. So, you know, we all have to walk through the, um, the Valley of difficulty in order to get to the mountain, or we have to have to, we all have to walk through the Valley of complexity to get to the mountain of simplicity. You know, the guy who sits up there and says, you know, it's actually quite simple to get here, but the only reason that you can see the simplicity is cause you walk through the Valley of complexity.

37:52 So what I do in the way that I look at it is my job. Isn't to put a bridge over the Valley of complexity, because now I'm going to, now you're going to miss out on all of the scars that you get along the way that make you valuable. My job is to shepherd you and speed you through it faster. So you're not lingering in the bogs for as long as people do. Um, and, uh, and so, yeah, just kind of getting back to your question, um, w that, that judgment and worry and concern is a big part of the human experience, but, um, you know, some, some simple frames that I have on it are one, here's what I know about human beings. They are so unconcerned about my story, right? Like we all have a story and we all tell stories in our videos and things like that.

38:39 But here's what I know. I mean, don't think they're connecting to inside of my story is some connection point with them. That's the point of me telling the story is to create the connection with them. But, you know, like people are going to be fairly unconcerned when they go to bed tonight as to like the pains that I had to go through in my life. And, and so I'm so unconcerned now that have gone through this and just kept on doing the reps about what people, what people truly think of me. I know what I am about. I know you know who I am and how I show up some of that's maturity. But, um, I think what I think it's the intent for a lot of people like, Hmm, if your intention is pretty pure, when you're starting out with why you're shooting this video, and it's a skill building thing, I'm getting better.

39:22 Whether I get, you know, a hundred thousand views where I get 10 views, don't care, I'm just getting better. Cause you're a really hard person to compete against like someone who has that type of attitude. They're really hard to beat because they're just going to keep on doing the reps. Like whether it's me talking about it or, you know, Jocko, Willink, or, you know, David Goggins, like, we're all going to talk about the same thing. It's the disciplines. The discipline is the one that wins the day. Yeah. That's so true. I mean, if you show up, you put in the reps, even on the time when no one's watching, that's when it pays off. Right. It's like, you got to keep going when you don't see the, you don't see the, uh, the muscle building yet. Right. But you gotta show up. It's like what?

40:02 Everyone wants to go in the gym and they want to get a six pack abs in like a week. Right? Yeah. It's just possible. And to get someone, to give people something specific though, to actually sink their teeth into is okay. Mmm. Because the mind is 70% of the brain is dedicated to the visual cortex. Um, the best thing that you could be doing and to stay on this video idea. Cause it's just a good example of a lot of landmines are, is your mind wants a framework we're a model to operate from. So the best thing that you could do is to come up with a framework for how you're going to structure your video. So it's going to be, you know, welcome, or it's going to be like hook, like what's the hook on my video. Like, Hey, if you've ever wondered how to, um, get 5,000 reviews on your Amazon products stay tuned because I'm going to show you the three step process to make that happen in 30 days.

40:54 Right. And okay, so now you just hook someone and then you do a little intro on like who you are or whatever. And then you get into like, all right. So I promise you the three steps. Um, before I get into that, I want to talk about why this is so important is because trending on Amazon right now, in order to get trending and to get search reviews, you've got to have a lot of Amazon reviews. That's just the way that the marketplace or that platform works. So number one is this. So if you have, my point is, is develop a framework and then shove all your content through that framework. Now here's where people get tripped up, but I'm so creative. And I feel like this is so limiting. And it's like, no, no, no. I want you to learn how to paint by numbers first to get reps so that you can break the frame later because you've got the skills to do it.

41:37 Hmm. But the creative person on the inside won't allow themselves to do that. And you know, I've chatted with, um, had an interview with Stephen King once. And his process is very much the same way. And his consternation with young writers is exact same thing. They will not operate from a framework. They won't operate from an outline. So, you know, this gets back to the idea of how can we make business more like sport? How can I draw a border? You know, the, the, the lines on the court, how can I create that around my business? You know, like, and one example of a line is this is my target market. This is the only target market that I'm going to focus on for the next year. I get that there's. Yeah. But my, my product is amazing for everybody. I get that. I get the, your amazing thing is good for everybody, but it's gonna be a whole lot easier to market to that one person.

42:29 Yeah. I actually know, but I don't know. I was just gonna say that's, that's amazing. Just putting a box around. I love that actually. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah. So I was just gonna say like, yeah, I don't know what your experience has been like, but when I first started in, uh, my performance, I was specifically going after I'm Canadian, I grew up in a big farm and ranch and, um, Alberta, Canada. And when I was, when I started out, I was specifically going after I'm doing a mental game, coaching and training for hockey players. Why this goes back to like, you know, there's so many ways that you can start your business. Sure. A rule of thumb is start with where you are. So where I was was I had two contacts that had, you know, access to more hockey players for me, one of my friends, Eric Morrissette, well, the top kind of hockey trainers and coaches, um, in, in that world.

43:21 And, um, another gentlemen. So I reached out to them and asked if I could do a speech to them, but I was going after hockey players. Now the reality was, even though I said, Hey, I do mental game stuff for hockey players. More than 30% of my clientele were not hockey players, because what happens is the moment you name, who you go after, what do cats dislike? Cats, dislike it when you close a door, cause they want to get on the other side of the door. The moment you close the door, human beings are no different. The moment you say, I only work with hockey players. Someone ends up sending you a private email list. And like, Todd, I know that you only work with hockey players, but do you also work with football players or basketball or figure skaters or which, which is what happened to me, swimmers.

44:04 And that's the beauty of it is you think by naming only who you work with, it eliminates everyone else. What it actually does is it invites a lot of people in that aren't in your target group as well because human beings don't like to be excluded, especially because again, people are going to hear your stuff. If you're, if you're doing video, they're going to hear your stuff and going, man, I really like that. Scott cup shoot. He only works with eCommerce guys, screw it. I'm going to send them an email, a message and see if he can work with me too. And who maybe you do, or maybe your answer is Nope, I'm being very disciplined right now. I'm only, I'm going to stick to eCommerce, but if things change, I'm gonna put you on a wait list and I'll reach back out to you. Um, if things change.

44:41 Mm, no, that's it. That's, that's really, really smart. And like you said, sometimes it's the, uh, I guess being exclusive and then people are like, well, wait a minute. I love how you teach her. I love this, but I just want to put it over here. And so it's making you more exclusive and then that's where they do the outreach and,

44:57 And that's where you can kind of widen it out a little bit. But, um,

45:01 But yeah, I, I totally agree. I love the box idea. I I'm on that right now. Cause I mean, it makes so much sense to just like you said, paint by numbers, but put the box around the business, shiny objects. We're always distracted. But look at that over there. I can do that because that would be really cool. It'd be fun. Or there's a different business model. Oh, you can tell them, you could sell t-shirts now let's sell t-shirts and it's like, no, no, it's not in the box. You, you know, it's not in the franchise, we're not selling shirts

45:26 And, and where it all comes down to is we all get decision fatigue, right? I mean, I have a, um, a program called the 90 day a year, which, um, we've had third party companies come in and review it. You know, the, the stats cause a lot of people put up, you know, we all put up testimonials around our programs. That's what I wanted a third party company to come in and do an audit audit. It's called the ROI Institute. The world's largest Institute that's dedicated to looking at the return on investment of training programs typically operate in the corporate world. But when I brought it into the online world, I wanted to make sure I differentiate it away from all the other kinds of performance, people that are out there that call themselves the highest paid performance coaches on the planet or whatever other bullshit they say, which is just some sort of virtue signaling thing to others.

46:06 It's like, just, just show me whether or not you're good or not. Um, and, uh, and so in the, um, in the night of the year program, what I tell people is fundamentally when you take a look at this performance system, which helps you identify truly the one thing that you should be focusing on right now in the, and it came out of the sports world, it was, it was there to help us define what is the number one skill that if I worked with Scott on, in the next 90 days is going to make it, um, the, the largest improvement on his, um, outcomes that are important to him. And then when I brought it into the corporate world in the business space, it was just a phenomenal model to keep people on a railway track towards achieving things. And, um, and I say, fundamentally, when you take a look at the entire system that I'm walking you through, it is a decision making system.

46:54 And, and most people have the most challenges around making decisions. And that's why I like the boxes. That's why I liked the eye. That's why I liked the metaphor of the basketball court and applying that to business because there is no basketball court in business. There are so many ways to it. No, no, no. That's what people don't get is it is your job to pick up the paintbrush and create your border. That's what it is. That's that is one of the first and fundamental rules of, I think entrepreneurship is learning that skill, learning the skill of painting your border and saying, that's my sandbox. I'm going to play inside that sandbox. And that's the second key thing, looking at your business as a sandbox, I just fell into this trap. I listened, this is such this refresh to me. I was talking to one of my good friends, Jonathan Fields.

47:40 Who's got another amazing podcast and he's an amazing, um, author as well. And him and I were going back and forth on some things. And I said, you know, I think one of the big mistakes that we've made in the last six months is cause it's like any entrepreneur, like if you've been doing it for a long time, you can become a lot more strategic. Like you've got enough muscle, you can overthink things then. And I said, I think one of the things that we've done is we tried to over engineer things, as opposed to looking at our businesses and going the whole purpose of me getting involved in this is I love what I'm doing. Right. And so why not just play because who cares if I get it wrong, I'm playing right. And we place all these rules around all, but I gotta get a return on my, I get it.

48:17 And I'm as a performance guy, I'm 100% on that bandwagon. But at the end of the day, I think the people get the best returns are the ones who look at their businesses. If you know what I'm going to go play here. This is where I want to go play. Um, and, and I think with playing though, you're, you're learning, right? You're, you're building up the skillset, you know, and, and you're gonna learn faster and you're gonna learn faster because playfulness, and this is actually one of the reasons why the alter ego effect is so powerful. The method itself is so powerful is it brings an attitude of playfulness back into your life. That's actually one of the key testimonials that we've gotten back from the hundreds of thousands of people that have read the book now in the last year and a bit is I feel like I'm playing more like I'm.

49:00 So I've unraveled myself from the story of who I am and I'm back to feeling like this child likeness to, to how I operate. That's awesome. All right, Todd, I know we're running a little bit over here. I could talk to you for another hour. I want to talk about pivoting. I want to talk about all kinds of good stuff. We're going to get you back on bro. We got a lot to dive into, but I think this was good for today. What I want to do is I want to, I want to give you the opportunity to let people know where they can get a copy of the alter ego effect and, uh, and then how they can learn more of you. Sure. Um, so, you know, it's available everywhere. Books are sold kind of thing. You know, Amazon, um, we've got the audible, like you had mentioned before a version of it as well, but Amazon Barnes and noble everywhere, airport bookstores.

49:46 And then, um, but my home base on the internet is taught herman.me. And that's where we can find out maybe more about myself and some of the things that we do and, uh, or your as well, people can go to alter ego effect.com, where we got more resources for people that they can kind of sink their teeth into. Awesome. Well, Hey man, thank you so much for coming on and taking some time out of your, out of your day and in your scores. And I truly appreciate you, man. And let's do this again. Now let's do this again and we'll, we'll talk about a few other topics I got set up for you that I think I want to, I want to pick your brain a little bit on the air here. Get a little Scottie beam from Todd Herman. Todd. Thank you, man. I appreciate it. Stay safe out there. All right, man. Cheers buddy. Thanks for having me. All right. Well, I wasn't kidding. Once again, Todd

50:28 Is an awesome, awesome guy. I really, really love the real authentic, just raw of, you know, the rawness of Todd Herman. And just now I consider him a friend, you know, we hung out for a couple of days in Puerto Rico. We had some good conversations just about life, about family, about the things that we've been through in life and how things are changing and how there's all of these influencers out there. And what does that mean? And just a really, really good conversation over and over and over again with Todd. So I just really, really, I personally think he is someone that is worth having in your diet of consumption. If you will. We always talk about how do you surround yourself with positive people and people that are going to impact you in the right way. Todd is definitely one of those guys.

51:20 So I would definitely recommend grabbing his book, the alter ego effect. I have it here on my bookshelf and I definitely think that you should at least grab the book or maybe even the audio book, which I did grab that one as well. All right guys. So that's going to wrap up this expert interview with Todd Herman, such a great pleasure to have him on, but really sit down and think about what he says during this interview, apply it to your own life and definitely grab that book. All right, guys, I'll link everything up on the show notes. You can find that by heading over to brand creators.com forward slash eight 49. All right guys, that's it. That's going to wrap it up as always remember, I'm here for you. I believe in you and I am rooting for you, but you have to, you have to come up, say it with me, say it loud, say it. Proud. Take action. Have an awesome amazing day. And I'll see you right back here on the next episode. Now let's rock your brand.

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