TAS 287 (Mindset Hacks) How To Change Your Mindset to Achieve ANYTHING in Life and Business with Ryan Moran

In the business world these days you hear a ton of talk about mindset. There’s a reason for that. Mindset is one of the things that determines your progress and your ultimate level of success. And the good thing is that it’s one of the main things you can actually control. On this episode of The Amazing Seller, Scott’s going deep with a friend of his, Ryan Daniel Moran about the development of a strong, success-oriented mindset. Both of them are convinced that the true bottleneck to success and growth is right between our ears. If you want to know how to break out of the limiting mindset habits you have, you’ve got to hear this great episode.

Often, the bottleneck in growth and success is mindset.

What you believe is possible for you will naturally limit what you find possible practically. It’s a fact of life. If you don’t think you can lift a 50-pound weight, you won’t be able to do it. In fact, you might not even make the attempt. That’s a simple example of how mindset can be the bottleneck to many things in our lives. On this episode, Scott chats with his buddy Ryan Moran about this issue of mindset – and they go deep. You’ll learn a handful of strategies to help you reset your mindset over time and reach greater levels of success as a result.

Beliefs TIMES strategy and execution TIMES time = results

One of the most powerful things Ryan Moran shares on this episode of The Amazing Seller is his formula for how our mindset impacts our results. Here it is: Beliefs TIMES strategy and execution TIMES time EQUAL results. What it means is that what you believe will be multiplied through the approach and actions you take and over time your results will come about. It’s a bit confusing to see in print but Ryan explains it incredibly well on this episode, so be sure you listen.

The 10X exercise is a way you can stretch your perception of what is normal and possible

One of the things Ryan Moran does with those who he coaches and who attend his events is what he calls “The 10X Exercise.” He has you write down the level of income you are experiencing right now. Then he has you write down where you want to be. Then – one more step – he has you write down 10 times what you want. A very interesting thing begins to happen as people write down that 10X number, something most people don’t anticipate. Do you know what it is? On this episode, Ryan shares the story and tells you what it reveals about mindset, beliefs about possibility, and more – on this episode.

Association and input determine what you believe is possible

Everyone is a product of the environment they have lived within. The things you hear as “normal” are the things you come to believe ARE normal. It’s THAT perception of what is normal that dictates what you believe is possible. How do you stretch that boundary? How do you get yourself to believe that more is possible for you, for your business? On this episode Ryan Moran shares some of the ways he’s found it possible to break through those perceived limitations for himself, so be sure you listen to find out how you can begin moving into a place of greater success and possibility.

OUTLINE OF THIS EPISODE OF THE AMAZING SELLER

  • [0:03] Scott’s introduction to this episode with his guest Ryan Moran of Freedom Fast Lane.
  • [3:54] Why Ryan believes that you are wired for the results you are getting right now.
  • [7:14] What does Ryan put into his head regularly (and why does he put on events)?
  • [10:25] Beliefs TIMES strategy and execution TIMES time = results.
  • [17:08] How you can break through the mindset limitations you have.
  • [22:54] How tiny habits lead to greater success – eventually.
  • [28:06] What happens when you attain your goal? What then?
  • [32:15] The power of active appreciation in determining value.
  • [46:58] Tactical things you can do to change your mindset.
  • [55:00] The upcoming event Ryan is hosting in Austin, TX.
  • [59:21] The type of people you’ll meet at Ryan’s event in Austin.

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TRANSCRIPT TAS 287

TAS 287 : (Mind Set Hacks) How To Change Your Mind Set to Achieve ANYTHING in Life and Business with Ryan Moran

[INTRODUCTION]

[00:00:03] Scott: Well hey, hey what’s up everyone! Welcome back to another episode of The Amazing Seller Podcast. This is episode number 287 and today we're going to be talking about something that I really, really believe in and it all has to do with mindset and as far as surrounding yourself with like-minded people or expanding your thinking or creating a new normal. Well, I've invited on a pretty cool guy that’s going to actually walk us through some of…

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TAS 287 : (Mind Set Hacks) How To Change Your Mind Set to Achieve ANYTHING in Life and Business with Ryan Moran

…of this stuff. Someone that I've had on the show before, someone that I've become really good friends with and his name is Ryan Daniel Moran from Freedom Fast Lane and I am going to be really having kind of a therapy session in a sense as you're going to see going through this stuff because as an entrepreneur it really can be challenging.

Sometimes you feel like you're in your head or your head is kind of like screaming these different voices at you which ultimately makes you think differently or makes you doubt yourself or limits your beliefs. I think it's really interesting go try to understand why this happens but also how we can create little exercises or little state changes so this way here we can burst through those mindset roadblocks if you will. It was really awesome to have Ryan on and really talk about this stuff because he does a lot of this himself. It's things that he's talked about that he's struggled with in the past and then he right now going out and saying that he's going to own the Cleveland Indians. Stuff like that and the reason why he's doing it.

I really wanted to sit down with him, have this little “therapy session” and you can hear that throughout this and because there's a lot of things that I struggle with even now but I've struggled with even in the past and I see the pattern on how I got through them and how my mind has changed and how it's expanded. Believe me, when you understand this stuff and when you start to consider what you're feeding your mind and your thoughts and all of that stuff it can be really, really life changing whether it's in business or it's just in life and happiness and all of that stuff.

[00:02:12] Scott: That's what we're going to be talking about today. I'm really excited to share this with you. I did have Ryan on all the way back on episode 69 and if you want to go check that out, I’ll leave that out in the show notes as well. Again, the transcripts are there for you, you probably want to grab the show notes for this one and the transcripts because it's going to be pretty intense and you are going to see that and you're going to hear that and there's some really good exercises that he lays out for us to go through.

Things that I'm going to be definitely paying attention to and implementing in my own inner mind exercises, whatever they're called. Definitely excited for you to hear this. If you guys want to download the show notes, the transcripts, all of that stuff, head over to theamazingseller.com/287 and I apologize if I sound excited but I really truly I'm because this stuff really excites me. You're going to hear Ryan feels the same way because this is huge in anything that we do in life. Enjoy this interview, this conversation, this therapy session that I recently had with Ryan Daniel Moran. Enjoy.

[INTERVIEW]

[00:03:14]Scott: Well hey Ryan. Thank you so much for coming back on the podcast man. It's been a little while. How are you doing man?

[00:03:20] Ryan: I'm good Scott. I'm a little surprised that after the last debacle you'd definitely want to have me back on the show. So I'm personally surprised to be back.

[00:03:26] Scott: No man. It's always a pleasure and you and I got to meet in Orlando in person and actually shake hands and say hello in person and that was cool but I'm really excited to have you back on and really talk about something other than just this Amazon business ecommerce business more about what holds people back and that is that in between our ears and that's our head, our mind. Can you help us out with that?

[00:03:56] Ryan: It's an interesting topic because I really think that when you clear that bottleneck everything else almost becomes automatic and easy. I've noticed that I can give the same content to two different people. One will become a millionaire and one comes back a year later and says, “I just didn't have all the pieces together.” It can be exact same content. The only thing that's different is the person. If we can solve that, I think we change everything. Fundamentally I think it's important conversations to begin to have.

[00:04:30] Scott: I think this is a big one. I get a lot of people that they get started and stuff and then they always just want to have all the pieces figured out before they actually get started and I think that's a huge bottleneck and I think that we can get out of our own way if you will. I think that's the big thing and I struggle with it. I'm sure you have in the past and there's still things in our lives that are still going to come up that we have to run through this mindset shift or whatever but I think it's important for people to understand that.

Yes, we can learn all of the marketing, all of the business stuff but we got to understand why we might not be achieving what we want to achieve and that's why I want to have you on. I think you have a lot of value to add in this space as far as the mindset stuff and stuff that I have listened to your podcast before and I've taken a lot of value from that myself. I then look at myself differently or I ask myself different questions. I think that's a big thing. It's asking yourself those questions. Let’s just dive in. What do you want to start with? How do you want to get people started here?

[00:05:28] Ryan: Well, I will start with something really, really scary. I'll make a really scary statement. It could be good news or bad news but that simply I'd like to invite people to entertain the idea that you're wired for the results that you're getting right now. Whatever results you're getting like that is your fault. Good or bad. Especially when we're living in this world of massive information abundance where we literally have this unbelievable opportunity tune in to Bill Gates and Warren Buffet at the click of a button and listen to their thoughts.

We could never do that 100 years ago. We have this information abundance that both entraps us and also gives us immense opportunity and that if we position ourselves well that's really good news but if we don't then we kind of get trapped in this world of the same thing being talked about all the time and we sort of get lost in our own little information hub because we're listening to the exact same people who talk about the same exact things. That's why we have conversations that frustrate people like you and I Scott where it seems like the level never goes up. It never moves and that's when people start to feel like they're left behind.

I  know this is going to be good  news for some and bad news for others but I'd like to invite  you to consider that the results that you're getting right now are the result of you being wired in a certain way and you have nobody to blame or to thank but yourself but we can change the wiring. We can change certain things in order to change that and I put together a little bit of a mental formula that I think represents a lot of… Can I go into that?

[00:07:11] Scott: Yeah. Absolutely. That's great and you set it up well. I do want to ask you though, a quick question. I take a lot of walks throughout the day, I try to clear my head, I try to download the good information that I want take but sometimes also find it, then sometimes I become more confused. My question to you is like, “What does Ryan listen to or put into his head on a daily or maybe a weekly basis?” Just before we dive into what you're going to say because that’s just the question I have for myself. I want to know. What does Ryan listen to? What does Ryan put into his head?

[00:07:46] Ryan: It's funny you should ask and I'm sorry to skip to the end but that's one of the reasons why I put on events because I try to get the people that I'm most interested in learning from into one room for my own selfish reason. I have probably three core mentors that I've been working with for more than five years. People that have become friends, almost like brothers but they started as mentors. It was originally them until I grew and we were sort of on the same level now but for many years, it was just as spending as much time with them as possible. I do enjoy listening to people who have built business that are $100 million and more. I’ve never done that before. I want to know, what does that look like?

Last year when I was on stage with Gary Vaynerchuk he gave me the one thing that I needed in order to shift me into the next year's mindset which was, “If you want to go from $1 million to $100 million or $10 million to $100million or whatever it is, it is all about people. I took that piece of information, I took it to Carmen Harold who has run three hundred million companies. I said, Gary told me this, do you agree? He said, “Yes, absolutely.” He was like, “Okay, people who build $100 million companies believe that the next logical thing for you to focus on is the people that you surround yourself with, with the employees that you hire.” That's where I am right now as I'm learning how to manage teams and hire well and fire well and do those things that are uncomfortable for me now. I'm always looking for people who are ten years ahead of me and saying what are they all saying?

Then I try and decide for myself. Okay, what does that mean for my next logical step? For some people that might be, “Scott runs a million dollar business so I'm going to listen to him and everything that he does and then I'm going to look at people run $10 million and $100 million businesses once I'm there. It's just surrounding yourself with people who are a few years ahead of you and finding out what their best strategies are.

[00:09:46] Scott: That's good advice. Yeah I agree. I think listening to the people that are further ahead and I think that's what people should understand too just because you look at someone now that's ahead of you doesn't mean that you won't become them or go past them and then meet someone else that's further along. That's normal, that's growth and I think that's just part of the process. I didn't want to go off of on a tangent there but I did want to know that and that didn't help and I think we all can agree if you want to move somewhere then go and model. Tony Robbins has always said this, “Model success.” Definitely good advice. Let's go ahead. Let's jump into some formulas here so we can mindset shift here.

[00:10:27] Ryan: This is just a mental construct but this is what I think ultimately drives our behavior and our results and it looks something like this. It is beliefs times strategy and execution times time equals results. I’ll say that again, it's beliefs times strategy and execution times time equals results. What this demonstrates is if we put in mathematical terms, then one of these can be really, really strong and it drives everything else because of one times one, one of those numbers change, the whole formula goes out. For example, if we look at time. Investing in Coke in 1900 was a really good decision because it's grown by like 6% a year and $1 is now like $100 billion, whatever. I’m exaggerating.

The problem there is most of us don't have 100 years to wait for that to mature. Given an okay strategy plus a whole heck a lot of time, we get unbelievable results or if we have the world’s best strategy or the world’s best ability to execute we can grow this formula but I also think that beliefs are a part of this and I'm not a law of attraction kind of guy, I resist that thinking process but I do believe that the projections about what you think are normal about what you think are acceptable will drive the actions, they'll drive the strategy and execution that you take or even the time you're willing to commit to something. For example, if we look at the strategy that you and I both followed of taking physical products and selling them on Amazon, that was a superior strategy than a lot of other people who were building businesses.

[00:12:25] Ryan: Our results were more inflated than somebody who had the same exact beliefs or the same amount of time but they had an inferior strategy. If we plug in what we're doing into each one of these pieces we get an idea of what our results look like and we can grow them or shrink them depending on where we're really strong. Does that make sense?

[00:12:45] Scott: It makes total sense. It totally does. Keep going.

[00:12:48] Ryan: I try to invite who come to our workshops or come through our trainings to look at the results that they're doing and one of the ways that we evaluate this we try and stretch them is something that I call the 10X exercise. I basically have people roll out a sheet of paper and I simply say, “Where are you now, financially? Where do you want to be?” And that's pretty to say, “Okay, I'm making $5,000 a month or $25,000 a month or whatever it is.” That’s pretty easy. “Where do I want to be?” “I want to be at $100,000 a month. I want to have a million dollar business.” Then I ask them a follow up question where I say, “What is 10 times where you want to be?”

There's inevitably like this like tension that rises in the room because now I'm writing a million dollars a month. I said, “Okay, you don't have to do anything just write down the number.” They write it down and then we have a conversation. We say, “What's going on?” People say, “I want to change my number because I think it's going to be too hard, I think it's going to be too much time. I think it's going to be this.” We just have this interesting conversation that comes up. I follow up and I say, “Guys, this is really fascinating because all I asked you is, ‘What is ten times the number that you previously wrote down?’”

We have this conversation about the fact that just writing the number, just visualizing this number was really difficult. It caused some sort of, this isn't normal. It caused like red flags to kick in, like this is wrong, this is going to be painful so we follow up with this other question of like okay, what would have to happen? What would need to be different? How would you have to think in order for that number to be totally normal to you? Because somebody has done it. Somebody has done exact same thing that you want to do times ten.

[00:14:42] Ryan: So how do you they think? It just creates a bit of an exercise of a way to stretch that normal, a way for us to look at how are we looking at the results we're looking right now and how might we look at it differently so that we can start adopting some new behaviors in order to drive different results. It's a very tactical way just based on emotion you have in reaction to thinking about 10Xing whatever it is that you want. Even if you don't have to take any action on that.

[00:15:15] Scott: I agree and I'm going to interject here a little bit because I want to say like in my own mind and I have had these conversations with myself and I think that's what we do, we have these voices and even myself personally like right now, like to think of 10Xing where I want to be, immediately I felt those emotions. I felt those things that you're talking about and I felt them before and it does and always makes me, make things smaller so this way here I don't have to get there, I guess it's what I'm trying to say.

For example, if I say to myself like I want to do, or I want to have this multi-million dollar company immediately I think of all of the people that are going to have to help do that so that means I have to manage people and I don't want to manage people. Instantly I think of that as my fear because I don't ‘want to deal with that even if I know I can hire people to manage this stuff for me. It's then getting to that level. I'm going through that in my own head like right now like to get to that point, you've grown recently to where now you're hiring teams and you're having like you said, you have to fire people not fun but it's part of the process and you're willing to go through that because you want to get to where you want to get.

Someone that might say to themselves, and again saying for myself like for example like I don't necessarily need that. I want to do things in my life that again, lifestyle for me is everything and it's not having the stress of managing a big huge corporation. How does someone balance that within their head? Like I want be able to, for me personally, I want to do more so I can give  more. I want to be able to have maybe a nonprofit of some kind with my wife and contribute to that like so many times a year and be a part of something bigger not just for the gain of money. How do you get through that? I'm not even sure if there's an answer to that but like how does someone burst through that?

[00:17:14] Ryan: Not everybody wants to grow financially or at least we don't think we all want to grow financially. I think at some level we all do want to grow in every area but that's just human nature. But let's look at it in terms of free time. If you said, “I want to take a ten week vacation.” Well just for fun what if we said, “Scott what would it take in order for you to be able to enjoy a 100 day vacation if you wanted to?” Well, that's interesting. I guess I would have to rock solid systems and processes in place that operate without me. I guess I would have to other people or have content being contributed without my involvement or I'd have to have it done way in advance.

I'd have to have certain sales processes that were dialed in. Well, what this can point to is the things that we might want to focus on next if we're committed to growing in a certain area. We can even look at that in terms of fitness. If we want to lose a certain amount of weight what if it was a lot more than that? How would we have to think differently? One of the beauties here is we don't have to do anything. This is just a mental exercise to point out where we might want to focus, where we might need to be thinking a little more aggressively or how we can think outside of the box that we're trapped in. If you hit a plateau this is an exercise to go beyond that plateau and to be able to do the things that you want to be able to do faster by implementing the strategies that are going to get you there.

[00:18:52] Scott: That makes sense. That's good and again, everyone listening has gone through this or will go through this. I think it's important to really, again you might even want to come back and re-listen to this episode because I think it's important. This to me is a huge part of people not moving forward number one they're afraid of what it's going to take but also what if my life does change, what will that be like. Will I really like it at the top? Or where I think I'm going to go. Keep going, I love it.

[00:19:24] Ryan: Like you said, you hit this resistance point because you perceive something is going to be painful when you get there. You have this belief that something is going to hurt or something is going to be painful or uncomfortable so you won't want to grow through that. All of our beliefs, all of the things that we think are normal or that are worth pursuing I think I have been able to isolate into being association and input. Meaning all the beliefs we have, like is $10,000 a month a lot of money or is $100,000 a month a lot of money, all of those beliefs are the result of associations and our input.

That it comes down to who we hang out with and what we put into our brain. Association is who we spend our time with because if you hang out with people who are super fit and have six pack abs, you’re not going probably order cheese fries the next time you’re all out at dinner. Whereas if you hang out with people who are 100 pounds overweight, you're probably going to get the cheese fries and the input is the things that you put in your brain. It’s listening to Scott talk about his businesses, it's listening to people who are ten years ahead of you talk about how they grew their businesses.

It's listening to the happy couple that's been married for 25 years and how they relate to one another in their marriage because those are the things who we hang out with and what we listen to that we normalize. Your brain is a normalizing machine. Your brain takes in all of this stuff, all of the time and it tries to make sense out of it by normalizing it all. If you hang out with people who have been married, if you go to church and you see people who have been married for 25/30 years over, your brain says this is what’s normal because it wants to fit in.

[00:21:21] Ryan: If it starts to go, “That's what's normal so that’s I'm going to create for myself.” If you listen to podcasts or if you watch YouTube videos with those same types of people your brain wants to fit in so it starts to make that normal. Well in the same way, if you listen to people who are billionaires enough, your brain says that's normal, it's not a big deal. Therefore it becomes much more natural to do those strategies and habits, whether it's in fitness or marriage or money or whatever area of life.

Well, in the same way, if you never escape being around people who have a very poverty based mindset it's really difficult for you to every see that in as normal so you're never going to get past that point. That's normal for your surroundings. To my opinion, that we can change those by changing who we hang out with and what our inputs are by listening to different podcasts, listening to different audio books, changing who we hang out with and that adjusts our beliefs which just adjusts that entire formula of the results that we get. Does that make sense Scott?

[00:22:33] Scott: It makes total sense. The only thing…

[00:22:35] Ryan: I’m getting all excited.

[00:22:37] Scott: No I know. I love it. I love talking about this stuff and I'm begging to that myself. I'm just about just being able to have more clarity in your own mind is just helpful because sometimes it can be those voices that they interrupt your day and they do, they stunt your growth. What I'd like to say is like someone that is… You're saying like for you to think that you can get to $100 million but someone thinking, “Okay, I'm going to listen this guy that's at $100 million but he's already been through the getting to $10,000, to $25,000, to $100,000 then he wants to… So he's went through this stages.” Sometimes going so far for me anyway it's like so far away from where I even think I can be or even want to be.

That may just be where… I don’t even go there. I just think it's so much of a gap. Would you say that you want to that in small steps like if you are like $10,000 and someone is making $50,000 then you want go there or if someone right now is maybe, they have all the time in the world, they only have to work a week a year. But it didn’t just happen overnight. There was stages to get there. I guess, how would you address that? How would you start that process rather than saying, “Man, I can't go listen to Bill Gates right now and his model, his thing. His thing is so like far away from where I can ever imagine ever being.”

[00:23:58] Ryan: I look at it more in terms of habits. I look at strategies and habits rather than I look at it in stages. I teach three stages to million dollar business. I think that can be a very helpful construct for us to craft a plan. In terms of modeling people who are really successful, I look more at habits. There's a great book by Jeff Olson called The Slight Edge. I don't know if you've read that.

[00:24:27] Scott: Yes, yes. Great book.

[00:24:28] Ryan: It basically argues in 30 seconds or so it argues that your results are from compounding habits rather they are from big leaps in progress so those big overnight success stories are rare and even when you see them, they are usually a result of 10 years of good habits rather than Justin Bieber being discovered on YouTube. Those big jumps rarely happen or as the constant habit is what usually builds that result. That habit is going to take you from 10 to 50 it's also going to 10 to 100 or 1000 just based on how long that time factor in the formula, how long are you working that strategy or that habit.

What takes you to 50 sometimes practicing that habit will also take you to 100. Maybe to put it differently, you could go from 10 to 50 following one strategy but that strategy is not going to take you to 100 but if you follow the strategy that's going take you to 100, it will take you through the 50. I like to look at the habits of people ten years ahead of me because I know that's going to take me from one to ten and then 10 to 100. Now we're just talking in models and throwing numbers out there but I think you understand what I'm saying.

[00:25:55] Scott: Yeah. To me also it’s kind of like those markers that are going to allow you to grow and at that pace but I also think that we can develop these habits and sometime that's the frustrating part because you're developing these habits and you know you're doing the right thing but you're not seeing the result that you want to see as quick as you want to see it. Then that's where you stop and you're like, “This doesn't work.” Then you just give up and you go over the next shining object. That's a big one.

[00:26:26] Ryan: I was talking to Robert Herjavec last year, the guy from Shark Tank. He's a nice one. He said something really interesting about the day that he hit $50 million in his business. In my mind I'm like $50 million in a year in business would be pretty awesome. He's like, “No, I got super depressed.” I was like, “Awwww, mmmmhh, ahhhh, tell me more” He's like, “Yeah, I go to $50 million and I realized like that it was just a goal, that it didn't change anything who I was. I didn't feel any different. I realized, what do I do now? Do I just set another goal? Do I just set it to $200 million? Because I realized that I could have worked just as hard and done $500 million rather than $50 million.

It was just the habits that I was practicing that got me to this point and it didn't change anything about who I was. Sometimes we could be making progress, we just don't feel it because we don't feel any different. We don't feel happier as a result of moving forward. It's just kind of an illusory movement that's happening but if we realize that the strategy that will take us to 100 will also take us to 10, I think it's a good thing for us to practice as long as our emotions and happiness aren't tied to that. I think most entrepreneurs miss that. They think that once they get to this level, they are going to be different or feel different and that's not the case. We'll talk about that.

[00:27:59] Scott: I think also another thing, I thought about I know you've talked about this and it's a big one and I think you've said you’ve had those thoughts. It's like you also get to that certain area that you say like, “Okay, once I get there I’m going to be able to take a big breath and it's going to be cool,” and then all of a sudden you start worrying about going away.

I think that's another big fear of people that it's like now all of a sudden I got to keep working harder to even beat that because if I beat it, then that means that if that goes away then I'll have this and you just keep following in that hamster wheel of just going round and around and around. I know that's probably a whole another discussion but maybe you can just address that quickly because I know people have that thought. It's a common thought for people that are trying to get somewhere. Then they get there and they're like, “Okay, that's cool but now I'm afraid it's going to go away so I got to keep working hard. I said I was going to take a break but it's not going to take a break yet.”

[00:28:49] Ryan: If you have a solution to that please come call me.

[00:28:53] Scott: So you don't have the answer? Come on Ryan.

[00:28:55] Ryan: One of those things, there's a certain element of we are simply wired to grow. Our brains are wired to grow not to make us happy. I have found that as entrepreneurs we're really, really good at the growth piece and we can cultivate that and we spend a lot of time investing to grow and make this fertile ground for growth but we do it at the expense of nurturing our happiness. I think that we can also nature that ground. We can plant seeds in the happiness camp. Have you ever heard the Marshmallow Hypothesis Scott?

[00:29:42] Scott: I don't know.

[00:29:44] Ryan: They tested kids and they were looking for predictors of success and they give kids a marshmallow, one marshmallow and they said if you bring this back in an hour we'll give you two marshmallows. Most of the kids went and they ate the marshmallow. The sugary thing in their hand. Who’s going to wait. But the kids who came back and said, “I'll have my second marshmallow now,” that was the best predictor of success that they could find because they practiced the delayed gratification. They have delayed gratification, they have the second marshmallow, they are also going to be more likely to plant seeds for the future. That's been the best indicator that we have or natural predictors of success but what most of us do if we're really successful is we're so good at developing marshmallows because we get this stack pile of marshmallows and we're afraid to eat them.

We're afraid like I got to get more marshmallows because one day I'm going to want to eat these and I'm going to run out of marshmallows if I start eating them. I think what we can do is we can plant the seeds of learning how to enjoy things and we have to almost relearn that just like we learn how to grow. It's a muscle that gets built. In fact, let's just talk about happiness for a second. Because there was actually a study done where they tried to find the formula, if you will, of happiness of what determines if we feel good.

What was isolated was that happiness was simply the difference between our expectations and our reality. We could actually hack happiness by changing our expectations. One of them being when I get to a certain point I will feel really safe and secure. Now I'm here I feel exactly the same so now I am not happy because the difference between my reality and my expectation was great.

[00:31:52] Ryan: Whereas if you expect to make $10,000 you make $100,000 you're thrilled. You've got $90,000 worth of happiness because your reality has surpassed your expectation. That's what they found to be the biggest predictor of happiness and what I think we can do actively in order to cultivate that is just practice active appreciation. What you put your attention on, what you put your focus on is your reality. Our attention is the only filter that we have to be able to filter out what we want and what we don't want.

If we put our focus on what we appreciate and what we're thankful for, that is our reality, at least temporarily and we can, what you appreciate, appreciates. You see it more. You value it more. I had kind of an aha moment for me a couple of months ago when a dear friend of mine lost her little brother in an accident. I had only met the brother a few times but I was just thinking about her how… It was probably a normal day for her and then something that she took for granted was taken away from here. In that moment she realized she probably would give anything up to have her baby brother back. I started to think about all the things in my life that if they were taken away from me, I would give anything to have them back. I have a very unruly 18 month old daughter. She is a very needy and very emotional.

[00:33:35] Scott: Very cute, by the way too.

[00:33:36] Ryan: Thank you. The times when I just want her to stop screaming. If she was taken away from me, all I would want would be a screaming baby. The times when I am just grinding in business and I feel exhausted, if I was working for somebody else I'd probably give up everything to try and have my own thing no matter how much hard work it took. I don't think about my brother or my best friend on a daily basis all the time but if they were taken away from me then all I'd want would have my big bro back. The things that we put our attention on are our reality. I think that active appreciation for the things that are in our life are the way that we could actively build that happiness part of our lives while also putting in the work and putting in the time to grow whatever it is that we want to grow. I think that is the one, two punch to be both successful and growth minded as well as happy at the same time.

[00:34:42] Scott: How would someone make that part of their day? Is it journaling? Is it just mentally telling yourself that? I know Gary Vaynerchuk said that before that whenever he feels like he's getting busy and he's like losing like that mindset like what's important he automatically thinks about like his mother. What if his mother was taken away? Would any of this matter? It's like what you just said. Sometimes we have to do that. You have to say, wait a minute, woah, I’ve done that with my kids. I've got three kids, all different ages. My eight year old really keeps it really for me because she is the youngest. But I look at her and I'm like… I've got a 21 year old too.

MY 21 year old I see how fast that went so when I now look at my 8 year old I look at her differently because I see how fast that time went and I don't want to look now and go, well, my 21 year old like I don't have that… Like when was the last time I was able to do… When was the last time I read her, my 21 year old a book. I don't even remember.  But there was a night that that was the last time. If I would have knew that was the last time I would have appreciated it more. I think that goes with anything and so like, how do you do that and how would you recommend someone doing that?

[00:35:55] Ryan: My mentor gave me the secret on this, Scott. My mentor, his name is Travis and Travis said this brilliant thing to me once and he said, “Every time I’m feeling bad about myself or I'm feeling particularly down I just simply ask myself one simple question. Who am I comparing myself to?” You see, I have theorized that all our brains really know how to do is compare and we're normalizing all the time. We talk about that like what's good, what's bad, well that's all depending on what you compare it to.

Am I happy or am I sad? Well it depends on what I'm comparing my expectation to. It's this comparison game that we're constantly playing and that's partly how we change our normal. It's also how our normal gets distorted because we're always comparing things in our brain. Well, we can play that game actively. When we're feeling bad about ourselves, it’s because we're comparing our reality to some expectation of what somebody else has or what we thought it would feel like but we can also go backwards.

We can say this is our reality and now I'm comparing to what could have been or what somebody else is going through and now we can play the game in our favor. If we change what we compare it to we can change that happiness equation because if we compare ourselves to somebody who never had the opportunity that we had or never met that person in the first place, if you're going through a breakup and you're comparing yourself, I’ve never had those two years, or you're comparing yourself to somebody who has no legs or whatever it is, you can change this game however you want.

[00:38:00] Ryan: But it is simply the reason you ever feel bad is because you’re comparing it to something. You can consciously change that comparison in order to change how you feel about it because that happiness equation gets shifted based on what you're comparing it to. That's the thing I practice and to your other question, as far as practicing active appreciation, I try to just write three things every morning and never repeat. Eventually I'm thankful that I have eyelids. I'm grateful that I see the sun every morning and how beautiful it is. These are the things that I do to practice that.

[00:38:40] Scott: That's good. I find though too sometimes, I play that game with myself too. Like sometimes you are having that bad day or something happened that you think is like really, like bad. Then you'll play the game, I could have gotten the call that my wife had cancer or I could have gotten this. It does put it into check but sometimes you're just so darn pissed it just doesn't help that day and I think that's normal, it's going to happen but you try to pull yourself out of that thought process because it can be very, very damaging. But like you said, you have to come up with your own ways of getting yourself into another state.

I know Tony Robbins says that all the time like pulling yourself into a different state is so important. We've always said go to bed and get up on the right side of the bed or wake up again and start all over, hit reboot. I think it's the same thing. We have to come up with our mechanisms and everyone is going to be a little bit different. I think that's a great strategy and I think also waking up or going to bed and talking about like either what you're grateful for or then also what you're grateful for that actually happened that day. Anyway, let's keep rolling. This is good.

[00:39:49] Ryan: To your point, I think there's also depending on how difficult it is to get out of that funk, that is also, this is just a reflection of how deep the wiring is for what our expectation or what our normal was. For example, fact, Facebook causes depression. We know that, we can study that and the reason is because there is a constant flurry of people showing how amazing their life is and how great they look after they have Photoshop abs and we're comparing ourselves to that. It’s deeply ingrained in us. Another example would be like beauty magazines. Beauty magazines destroy our body image. Fact. We know this. We can study this, we can look at the impact it has on girls’ psyche like we can track this. It has been documented.

When we have that flurry of just constant barrage of what is beautiful, what is normal, that starts to get distorted. Depending on how much we pay attention to them, how much that enters our reality, that will determine how strong that connection is between what we perceive as really normal. So if we're watching the news which is constantly only telling you only what plane crashed rather than what plane landed… I mean can you imagine what the news, like how unafraid of flying we would be if every time a plane landed, they'd be like, “We interrupt this program to tell you that the flight from Atlanta to San Diego has landed safely.” If every flight that landed safely was reported, nobody would be afraid of flying. But when we're sitting on our couch and we've got a beauty magazine and then a man's health book with perfect bodies that are photo shopped and then the news comes and tells you what so and so said that was racist and offensive.

[00:41:44] Ryan: It'd be a normal for you to think that the world is going to hell in a handbasket and that you're miserable because you don't look like these people on the table. Of course you're going to feel bad because we're pounding our brain with what is normal and the only thing we have to shield against that is what we put our attention on. The idea of what's normal is a BS concept in the first place. It's just made up in our brains. We might as well just put our attention on what we want to cultivate. If we want to put our attention on really good marriages or really valuable businesses or making an impact, we can tune into that. We just have to actively cultivate that by making it normal by putting our attention on that. That's a bit of a rant. I hope it makes sense.

[00:42:38] Scott: I like it. We're know to rant around here. That's good. I agree 100%. It comes down to… Usually news is bad news. That's what gets people's attention and that's what it is but unfortunately we're tuning in to that. I've even told my wife that sometimes like she'll be having like a bad day or something like or what you want to do is do not log into Facebook, do not go through your news feed because it's going to be someone that's posting something about something that happened… Not that you don’t want to know that stuff about people that you know but there’s' a lot of people there that you don't even know that you're seeing and it's just going to get you thinking, “Oh my gosh, is that going to happen to me. Is that going to happen to my kids?” There's not a positive thing to that. It’s like we're always being fed, social media. It's just insane but totally agree. Love the rant by the way.

[00:43:23] Ryan: I used to tell this example a couple of years ago before it was baked into the news a lot. If we just look at the trump dynasty. If we go there and I used to tell this story before it was a big political move, before he was running for president but if we look at the Trump dynasty of the, I think it was Trump’s grandfather came here like penniless and broke and he basically had like a rags to riches story and then he raised his son to take over the business and then he grew that and then he had the next son, which was the Donald Trump and he became a billionaire and we look at that dynasty and what people are most fascinated by is Ivanka Trump because she grew up in three generations of just massive abundance of no limits, of just actively practicing what you just talked about of blocking out a lot of noise and focusing on something very specific. For her it was growing businesses and standing for the causes that she believes in.

I think you can make the argument that that dynasty, regardless of what you believe about them that the reason why they have had so much prominence is because they actively practice what you just beautifully described which was tuning out a lot of noise because there has always been negativity around that family. For four generations it hasn't just been the president elect. It's been four generations of a lot of controversy and blocking that out and going after whatever it is that they want. I wasn't a supporter of their political campaign but I'm fascinated by that idea of people who are able to just block out the things that they don't want to be in the reality and focus on the things that they do and we get lost in that so easily as internet entrepreneurs because we're being barraged by the Facebooks, the news, the things that somebody else is doing that's better than us.

[00:45:41] Ryan: Because what's the first conversation that we have when we go to a like a small workshop. It's usually like how much money are you making, how much are you crushing it? We compare that to ourselves or, “I got to measure up. I got to change something. I got something I’m not doing so good.” Or if you're in a room where everybody is doing less than you, you don't want to be in that room. We stack the cards against ourselves by creating these unfair comparisons constantly and it once again is great for growth, not so great for happiness so there's an active piece of that that if we practice we can get both.

[00:46:20] Scott: I agree, we just have to learn, like you said, how to re-train that muscle in a sense to where we do believe what we want believe and really believe it. Not woo woo stuff it's like honestly our… But it's hard sometimes because we're being fed with all of these outside channels of negativity and I think that's huge and ‘The Compound Effect’ book it's another great one. He talks a lot about your people, the information that you’re putting in your brain is like dumping a clean glass of water or you’re pouring in dirt into the water and I believe that you're polluting it. I'm a big believer in that. All right. Let's continue here. What do we got left. What else can we do here to help retrain our thought process or are we there? Are we finished?

[00:47:07] Ryan: Let's go through like a couple of tactical things.

[00:47:10] Scott: That sounds great.

[00:47:12] Ryan: Because we all have goals, we all have things that we want to do and I'd like to argue that if our target, if what we want violates what we think is normal then we're going to sabotage that. If you say… I'll tell you a fun story. I talking to a family member once and my goal, I've said that publicly is to own the Cleveland Indians and I was telling a family member this and they looked at me like I had three heads. Like that's impossible. Why would you do something like that? I said to them, I was like, “Look I actually I really need you to believe that I can own the Cleveland Indians. I need that from you. I need you to believe so that you can encourage me because it takes 17 yeses to outdo one no of what's possible.” That person's like, “I can't get on board with that.

I can't believe that.” I made a list of 17 people and then called those people and I was like, “I need you to remind me that I'm going to own the Cleveland Indians one day. I need you to believe this so you can remind me.” That's one of the reasons why I put that out there so publicly it’s because I normalize what a lot of people think is impossible and if what our targets violate what we think is normal or acceptable then we're going to sabotage that. The way that we change that is we just have to change our inputs. We change the things that we're thinking about. We change what we're putting our attention on and that's why I think it's important to be in masterminds, to go to events and to read books actively by the people who just explode our paradigms. It’s listening to people who are ten years ahead of you, it's being in the circles of people that make you uncomfortable.

[00:49:10] Ryan: It's actively growing the success network, the people that you constantly hang out with, the individuals that you’re building relationship with because they just think at a different level than you. By changing who you hang out with and what you listen to, you change your beliefs, that changes your results and I think that the results you get, the scope and the speed and the magnitude of those results will change by you actively cultivating what you put your attention on and what you're putting into your brain. Then on the happiness side, it is actively changing that perception and that comparison that we're making in order to either celebrate what it is that we have or restrain the pain that we feel when we feel like something has been violated or our normal has been adjusted.

It's my opinion that if you do that, if you change those things, you grow much faster but also there is a much more sense of ease in this process. Scott I'm sure you've had students that like the entire process of building a business is just painful and difficult and for other people it's automatic. It's like I just naturally took this step and I had this result. I think, I hope in being wrong but I'm pretty sure that is just the result of what people perceive as normal and what they believe because what they perceive as normal is going to be natural to them.

If they think that $100,000 month business is normal then growing that is going to be much easier and faster than the person who has not reference point for that at all in our brain. The good news of it all is that idea of what's normal is completely phony in our brain, we can change it at will so might as well just stack the deck to whatever we want to perceive as normal and we can do that consciously with what we listen to and who we hang out with.

[00:51:22] Scott: I think that was a great way to think about it and I think a great strategy. Again I want people to understand too. This isn't something that you aren't just going to wake up tomorrow and be like, “Okay, everything is going to change. It takes time. It takes like you said building those habits and it could just be something small that every day you're going to write those three  things or you're going to listen to one 30-minute part of an audio book or whatever, or podcast. Whatever, but a way to start getting in that routine of starting to get a steady diet of the information of what you really want. Then starting to I guess remind or just start to automatically shift which I think is kind of Amazing. You'll start to see that and feel that.

Now, again I think it's a work in progress. I think that and again, Tony Robbins, I always refer back to him when he says, “If you're not growing you're dying.” I believe that and that goes with internally. Like you're always trying to grow yourself in all aspects of life. I think this is just a great way to really go out there and start it and anyone can start at any place but understand too that you're normal if you’re having these self-doubts or if you're having these… I mean Ryan you’ve said it yourself. There's just different stages to where you're going to be at. You'll probably have more as you grow and that's part of the growing process but it’s recognizing them is also a big one. If you don’t recognize it how can you understand it.

I think writing down even like you had said, even like being open and honest with yourself, some of these voices are going on in your head and then recognizing them and then dealing with them but I think it all starts too with like removing some of the noise and some of the bad news. Then injecting some of the better news or the people that are where you want to be and why they are there and what's their lifestyle like. I love that. I think it's great.

[00:53:16] Ryan: I want to make a comment on that because I think it's really hard to add in anything if your capacity is already full. You have to cut things out before you add anything new. The best thing that people could do if like they are even unaware of the noise that's even in their head is to turn off what is currently building their normal which is the Facebook posts of a million people, then news, the beauty magazines for lack of a better example. Just the things that are constantly being thrown at us to create this idea of normal because when we stop having somebody else tell us what that is, that's when we have the room to consciously say this is what I want.

This is what, I want to create something different rather than listen to all of the things that are going on in the world. That’s when we can say, “Okay based on that, who do I need to listen to? Who do I need to surround myself with? What do I need to normalize,” and then it becomes very automatic to identify what are the habits and strategies that are going to get us that result.

[00:54:28] Scott: That's great. I think we can end on that part of the strategy session or therapy session. I guess a little bit of both. I love it though. To me it means so much to be able to try to understand this and also to understand that you're not alone in thinking this and feeling this, I think especially as entrepreneurs it's… People think that, “Man it would just be awesome to be in charge of everything in myself. I can go where I want to go, I can make my own schedule,” and it is awesome but there are also takes some head space there that you've going to clear out and you're going to get used to.

How to manage your time and all that stuff which could probably be a whole another episode. This time management. Yeah, you created an event and that event is basically everyone that you wanted to learn from. In a sense this is your second one. Why don't you talk a little bit about that, let people know a little bit about more if they want to attend and then we can wrap this baby up.

[00:55:30] Ryan: I do events for the exact reason that we're talking about because I actively try to stretch my normal and I constantly I'm looking to have my paradigm shattered. I think that's how you grow. Is you around people that make you uncomfortable and then hear from those who have done it before, the thing that you want, they've done it before and they come back and they say here is the strategy that if you implement, that if you do will change everything about the trajectory that you're on. In December every year. This is the second annual event, we bring in those who are ten years ahead of where I think our industry is and we download their best strategies for what they are doing. Last year we had Gary Vaynerchuk, Robert Herjavec, Grant Cardone, billionaire and founder of Priceline.com.

This year we're doing it with Peter Diamandis, we got the founder of Whole Foods, we have the founder of Marquis Jett, the founder of Quest Nutrition and we're putting just those who are ten years ahead where most of us think about, we put them into a room. I bring in my mentors along with them and we have three days where we try to extract the best strategies, we have tactical guys like Cameron Herold who have been a part of $300 million companies. We say, “Okay, you button this up for us. Take all the things we talked about for the last three days, put it into a ‘how to format’ for us.” He goes through the $1 million to $100 million process for entrepreneurs. It's basically a three day reserved time to just take the best strategies that I think the most productive people in the world, entrepreneurs need in order to create new realities for us to solve bigger problems, for us to go much bigger and we talk about building big businesses and investing in profits. It's three days in Austin Texas. It's called Freedom Fast Lane Liveand all those details are at freedomfastlanelive.com.

[00:57:29] Ryan: One of these days I'm going to annoy Scott Voelker enough to get his butt down to Austin Texas and hang out with me and Peter Diamandis, Gary Vaynerchuk and we'll have a good time.

[00:57:39] Scott: You did get on me a little bit there. I was really close to pulling the trigger. You knew that. I had some other commitments and stuff but who knows. Maybe I'll drop in but I'm kind of committed to something else already but it's a great idea and a lot of people they wonder how do you get around these people. Like you said, you’re creating these people that you want to surround yourself with and you're saying like, “Come on over to my little party over here and you get to hang out with us for three days and you get to learn from these people.”

The other thing I want people to understand too, I've been finding this out the more that I attend events. Some are good, some are not so good but it really is about networking. You might find those two or three people there that you may hit it right off with them and they may become that partner that you can talk to on a weekly basis or a monthly basis and check in within. Maybe they are a little bit further.

Maybe they are where you are at. You guys are growing together. It's someone to lean on. Networking is a large part of events more so than just the content. I know you and I we attended the Content Commerce and it was okay, the content was good, it gave me some things to think about but honestly, I'll say it publicly, it's my podcast I can do what I want, the networking to me was that was it for me. There wasn't really anything there that I was going to for strategy I guess. There was a couple of things I took away from it as far as like brand building, but it was so big that it just felt like I was lost. That's just me personally. Some people like that big thing.

[00:59:22] Ryan: I hear you. I should mention since most of the people who listen obviously ecommerce entrepreneurs, I'm an ecommerce entrepreneur so those who come to our events tend to be ecommerce entrepreneurs or brand builders and the content tends to be around that so the people that you'll be networking with will be in your industry. They will be at your level and some of them far ahead of that. Then the individuals who are invited to speak about what being an entrepreneur ten years from now looks like usually are ecommerce or internet entrepreneurs. I'm fascinated by people like Tom Bellew who's the founder of Quest ecommerce company started…

They drove traffic to their ecommerce website but now they're a $500 million a year company, in six years. How the heck does that happen? How’s that different from somebody who's selling whatever it is on Amazon. Like they follow the exact same processes. He came on my podcast and talked about how they launched Quest, it’s the exact same way that you and I launched Amazon brands.

It's actually really fascinating but he's got a $500 million business and most of us don't. So what's he doing differently than me? I kind of poo poo the idea of selling other people's products but John Mackey, Whole Foods, does that to $13 Billion a year. We’re going to learn how the heck that happens. Guess what, they make most of the money through private label, through 365 brand. Interesting. These are just the conversations I want to have and I know that by having those conversations we'll put the right people in the room so that amazing networking opportunities happen.

[01:00:59] Scott: That's awesome. Well, hey Ryan. I want to thank you so much and I know that we'll get together soon somewhere, some place and we'll be able to hang out and get to chat a little bit more but I just want to thank you for coming on and really talking about this mindset stuff. I think it's huge and for anyone outside there listening definitely check out Ryan. He's got a podcast as well. I'll put everything in the show notes. We'll have all this transcribed and you guys can even download it if you want to. Ryan I just want to say thanks once again, this has been awesome and I do appreciate you and all of the wisdom that you've shared and I just want to say thanks for doing that bud.

[01:01:33] Ryan: Hey, thanks so much for having me Scott. Talk to you soon.

[01:01:36] Scott: All right guys. There you have it. Like I said that was awesome. A lot of the information you maybe a little bit more confused than when you started and that's okay. Because we have to really get familiar with our own thoughts, our own mindset. Where are we? What is our normal? What is our thinking that's going on on our mind right now that could be preventing us from growing. You heard me say in that conversation with Ryan, I mean literally was pulling out some of these thoughts that were in my own head and even in his own head that he was going through whether it's now or whether it’s in the past and it's things that are going to continue to come up but as we create these strategies to deal with them but then also to possibly use them to our advantage is something that I think will benefit us for years.

Definitely, definitely check out the show notes, the transcripts to this episode. Re-listen to it if you need to which you probably will want to. This episode is theamazingselller.com/287 and that's where all the show notes and the transcripts will be so definitely go check that out. I love talking about this stuff, you heard us talk about the compound effect and the slight edge. I'll also put the links on the show notes to those as well. I listen to audio books quite a bit. I usually download that information into my brain not just on my phone but I also download it into my brain and I'll tell you, the compound effect that one I've listened to numerous times.

I usually try to go back to that every three months because I need like a refresher so definitely a good idea to do that as well. Guys, that's pretty much going to wrap it up. Hopefully this has opened your eyes. Hopefully this has gotten you excited in a sense to where you're like you know what, it is possible to do whatever I want to do but it’s up to me to wrestle around with my thoughts and my mindset and just change that over time and surround yourself with like-minded people so this way here you can create a new normal.

All right guys. That's it. That's going to wrap it up. Remember, I'm here for you, I believe in you and I am rooting for you but you have to, you have to… Come on say it with me, say it loud, come on, say it proud, “Take action.” Have an awesome, amazing day guys and I’ll see you right back here on the next episode.

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2 comments
  • Very important and interesting content that straddles both business and life success. There is no point being successful in business without also striving to be happy. This podcast addresses this issue very well.

  • I wish I could give star rating to podcast episodes on iTunes! This one is getting 5 stars, definitely. It inspired me to look over the goals and numbers for my business, made me rethink my long term strategies. What a great episode. Thank you very much.

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